In the early years, there was a big lady from Zhao Yuanwai who was mean and vicious, and every day she thought about how to squeeze more of the blood and sweat of the long-term workers. The long-term workers were so tired that their faces went in, their backs arched, their hands cocooned thicker and their bellies thinner and thinner, and they secretly scolded the big lady as "mother leech."

It was the 24th day of the twelfth lunar month, and the poor buddy went to the mother leech to settle the salary for one year. Mother leech "hehe" laughed dryly: "It's hard for you to help me for another year. Well, the salary is easy to say, hehe."

The poor brothers said, "You give it."

The mother leech said, "What's the hurry? As the old saying goes, it's better to go if you come well. Looking at the Chinese New Year, say a few jokes and leave for good luck."

The poor brothers said, "Who has the heart to tell jokes?"

The mother leech shook her head: "That's bad. Not only do you have to be diligent with your hands and feet, but also have a sharp mouth. You, a person is only allowed to say two words: the first word, you have to make me laugh, and the last word, you have to make me scold. If you can say it, you can start work. If you can't say it, hehe, don't blame me for less!"

The poor buddy is in a hurry, isn't that making things difficult for people?

The first poor brother scratched his head and scratched his ears for a long time, but couldn't figure it out. The mother leech smiled dryly and said, "Oh, go away."

The poor brothers thought one by one, but they all made trouble at first word, and they were driven away by the mother leeches for eight in a row.

When it was the turn of the last long-term worker, Du Laoyi, the mother leech looked at him and said proudly, "Du Laoyi! It depends on your ability! There are two words in total before and after! If you can say it, hehe, I will give you the salary, if you can't say it, hum!"

Du Laoyi thought to himself: I can say it, so I will be paid for one person. Didn't the eight brothers pay for your mother's leeches for a year? No! He said, "If you can say it, you have to pay all the salaries of nine people."

The female ant frowned. She was annoyed! But then she thought, Du Laoyi's tone is so big, and you can't say it if you don't want to be happy and cute. She laughed dryly and said, "Okay, open it all - the money is on the table."

Du Laoyi blinked and asked, "Are you serious?"

The mother leech: "When will I owe the account?"

Seeing a few dogs chasing in and out of the main hall, Du Laoyi had an idea. He said to the mother leech, "Then I thought about it."

Mother Leech: "Hurry up and think, I don't have time to look at the wooden skull!"

At this time, a big black dog suddenly came in from the door with a bone in its mouth, almost knocking the female leech down. The female leech jumped in fright and scolded, "Beg for death? Beast!"

Du Laoyi shouted at the big black dog, "Father!"

When the mother leech heard a "father", she was stunned for a moment, and then couldn't help laughing: "Haha! the beast calls him father? I'm afraid you're in a hurry! Haha!"

Du Laoyi held back the fire, and learned the tone of a dog to respectfully call the female leech: "Mom."

The female leech was stunned again, then woke up and cursed: "What a bold youngest Du! Are you making up a way to scold me? I'm a bitch? Huh?"

While his mother was cursing, Du Laoyi took the silver and divided the money with his eight poor buddies!

On the 23rd day of the twelfth lunar month, the helper was on annual leave. When Du Laoyi was packing the package, the boss was afraid that he would take off his own clothes, so he stood by and watched, smiling and not smiling: "Du Laoyi, did you pull off those worthless gown pants?"

Du Laoyi smiled: "Shouldn't it be?"

Du Laoyi left. The boss was not at ease, so he searched the house again, looking horizontally and vertically. Suddenly, Du Laoyi panted and turned around, shouting, "Boss! Boss!"

The boss came out of the room: "What?"

"I lost something!"

"Huh?"

"My conscience is gone."

"Conscience?"

"Are you hiding?"

The boss scolded: "Nonsense! Hmph, you can search the front and back of this house, my family has no conscience!"

The confused old man in Zhijiang County deserved to be unlucky. He found Du Laoyi's name.

It was in the Qing Dynasty, when Du Laoyi sat under a tree and ate potatoes. People in the mountains of western Hubei went out and often brought cooked potatoes (potatoes) to make dry food., The confused old man came: "Du Laoyi! Look at how poor you are, New Hanging Nu" Hanging Nu "" Hanging Nu ": In the dialect of western Hubei, it means that you are worn out and your tendons are striped., Your reputation is not small! Everyone from far and near says that you are very knowledgeable, and this county wants to try your kung fu. Do you dare to file a lawsuit with this county?"

Du Laoyi said, "Why have I nothing to do with eating potatoes? How can I dare to sue the eldest master?"

The confused old man was very proud: "Forgive you and don't dare! Let's go, our lawsuit is settled!"

Du Laoyi asked, "What kind of language is this?"

The confused old man said, "This county is hard and not soft! If you admit to fighting first, this county will not fight; but you answer that you dare not! This county will find someone who dares not to sue, and tell you that you are innocent. If you lose, you will knock off the black gauze hat of this county; if you can't beat it, you won't want to eat the potato, even if it is pinched in the heart of this county!"

Du Laoyi stood up slowly and mumbled, "It seems that this lawsuit can't be avoided?"

The confused old man urged, "Let's go!"

Du Laoyi sat down: "Alas!"

The county official asked, "What's the matter with you?"

Du Laoyi said, "I don't have to be entangled in money! I can't get half a penny from a lawsuit to get Jingzhou Mansion, how dare I go on the road?"

The confused old man smiled proudly: "Half a penny? You dare to go on the road with half a penny?"

Du Laoyi replied, "Of course, when you have money, it's less difficult."

The confused old man patted his chest: "This county will give you half a penny!" He turned around and ordered his subordinates: "Come here! Come and cut him half a penny!"

Very quickly, the hammer and chisel "The barium bag was cut into two halves. The confused old man shook half of it with Du Laoyi:" Take it! "

Du Laoyi took half a penny and left. As soon as the two walked to Jingzhou Mansion, Du Laoyi really sued Master Zhijiang. Guess how?   Four sentences -

As parents of common people,

So bold,

Qianlong Tongbao is cut in half,

If you don't kill, you have to withdraw first!

That silly old man's black gauze hat was taken off at that time!